Lives not yet lived
by Avid fangirl for life
Summary: The many lives Regina and Emma share.


The first life the two of you share isn't much of a life at all. The time you two have together is limited, and although the stolen moments the two of you do get to share are infinite in themselves, they are still simply moments. Kisses stolen in the dark, whispered words, hesitant embraces. Moments such as those allow you to go on living your life, they keep you strong in the face of an ancient husband whom you were forced to marry and through the times where you can feel yourself crumbling.

The fact that the two of you should never of happened, and should never of even met is a fact that you try your utmost hardest to ignore. You have to meet under the cover of darkness because her kind are persecuted throughout the empire. She refuses to run, and in the end that will be her downfall. She says that she has spent her life running and hiding, but that now she has finally found something or rather someone to stay for. It will be the death of her, but she insists that there are far worse ways to die than knowing that you are loved.

It seems strange to you, that you should feel love after all this time. You had grown to think that you were no longer capable of such things. You find yourself feeling it in such multitudes these days that you find yourself worrying that it will spill over the edges. You worry that your husband will be able to see it shining through the cracks in your armour. It worries you because he will believe it is for him, such love and passion and unyielding devotion, and he may set his more amorous sights back upon you again. Over the past years, an agreement or understanding had been reached between you. You would be his trophy wife, the perfect example of a virtuous Roman bride, and you would ignore his dalliances in places other than your bed chambers. In exchange, he would leave you alone and ask no questions of you. You were free to do as you wished so long as it was behind closed doors.

Somehow, you didn't think his understanding would extend to finding you bedding one of her kind. You weren't sure that you understood it either. All you knew was that she has you fully intoxicated by her. Body and mind and soul and everything between. She was forbidden, both as another woman and as a Priestess, and so she was utterly irresistible. Not that she had meant to be alluring in the first place.

Your first meeting had been by chance and by the time it had ended you had never been more glad to of been alone in your life. You'd been staying on the country estate, you were much more fond of it then of your villa (it reminded you of home), and you had decided to take a walk alone in the gardens.

She'd been lurking in the bushes, hidden in plain sight. If it hadn't been for her coughing, you never would have known that she was there. You thank the gods every day for it, although you're still not certain whether it was a gift or a curse. On the one hand, she gives you immeasurable happiness in the moments that you share. On the other, what you are doing is extremely dangerous and very, very illegal.

For the most part (or from what you can gather, you're careful to never enquire) other religions are embraced by the Empire. For some reason, hers was not. Her people burned, and she should have burned with them. But she didn't, she endured.

Now she is yours and you are hers and all it will take is one wrong move for it to all be over. You will be banished and you will have to watch your love burn. They say that fire is the way to purge her people of their sins, to cleanse their souls. You'd stake your life on it not stopping her from screaming as she burns. If you are discovered, this will be her fate, as it was her people's. You will be made to watch, and then you will be sent away in shame, never to return. Which fate is worse, you can't decide.

The two of you have always been very careful, you never meet in the same place twice and never more than twice in any given lunar month. It makes your heart heavy, the burden of having to hide your love for her. You wish to spend all of your days with her, for her to never leave your side, but that will never be possible. Perhaps in another world, in another life, it would be. You make do with what you have, because after all it is better than nothing. You content yourself with the knowledge that she is risking her life simply to be with you, for stolen moments where possible.

One night, you are distracted. You don't mean to be, you try your best to focus, to make sure that you aren't followed. You're almost certain that you aren't, but you are. The man who follows you is a house hold guard, whom your husband swears are there to protect you, and you don't notice him until it is too late.

He bursts through the trees into the clearing as the two of you are embracing. Her tattooed cheeks leave no doubt as to whom, or rather what, she is. She doesn't try to run, simply edges in front of you, and your heart breaks because this means her death. You know you should encourage her to run, he'll you should probably run with her, but how far would she get?

It isn't long before her punishment is decided, and of course you knew that it was coming but that doesn't make it any easier to bear. The pieces of your heart sat fragmented inside your chest simply refuse to fuse back together and they're going to make you watch her die. You should of stayed away from her in the first place, she may of lived that way. You don't know why you didn't, all you know is that you want to die with her, because she is your heart and soul and you have been one from the first time your eyes met.

They make you stand directly in front of the pyre with nothing obstructing your view. Close enough that you will be able to see every detail and feel the heat that will consume your love but far enough that you will not be harmed. You know that you won't be able to look away, because she deserves to die knowing that she is loved. You can not say the words, but your eyes will not leave hers.

They make you watch as she is stripped bare before the crowd, her body on display. She is led to the pyre and bound to it, so that she cannot escape. Her eyes search for yours, and upon finding them, they stay locked. She is scared, her chest is heaving and there is nothing you can do to stop it. The kindling beneath her feet is lit and before long the soles of her feet are burning and she is afire. She screams, long and loud and drawn out, but her eyes never leave yours. You throw yourself towards her, you fight the guards with all your might, her name wrenched from your throat even as you know it's too late.

You are restrained and made to watch until there is nothing left of your love except ashes and bones. You can still see her smile, her long honey coloured hair, her tattooed cheeks. It's all still there, whenever you close your eyes.

It is not long before you join her in the afterlife, but on the eve of your death you are finally at peace, your last breath is used to sigh her name for the final time as the darkness surrounds you.


End file.
